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The Gossip

Standing in the Way of Control
Kill Rock Stars (2006)

If The Gossip were a lesbian they'd be the cool hip lesbian. You know, they're mid-way through their Philosophy degree, they shop at Salvation Army to approach a chunkier Karen O style, spend plenty of time in the local vegan friendly communally run coffee shop, and always seem to be free flowing with the cannabis. Now, if Riot Grrl were … Read more

Forensics

Hogback Mountain Sessions Vol. 1
Magic Bullet (2005)

Let me be frank. Picking up records based off of the information given on the record sleeve is usually (99.9% of the time) a tenuous proposition. More than likely, the record will not come through on its boastings. I normally make it a point to never believe a damn thing that those stickers announce ( i.e. "the best band in … Read more

On the Outside

Tragic Endings
Thorp (2005)

No Warning officially called it quits in late 2005, but for most of us, the band died when this photograph surfaced. I figured No Warning was headed for a career in rock-n-roll's vast array of mediocre bands that came from a hardcore background, and then put out incredibly crappy albums. Remember DYS's Fire and Ice, or Uniform Choice's Staring into … Read more

Neon Blonde

Chandeliers in the Savannah
Dim Mak (2005)

When it comes down to it, negative reviews serve one purpose: to invoke laughter from the reader. After reading reviews, bands aren't going to say, "Hey bandmates! Zed from Scene Point Blank said our new album blows chode. Let's have a band meeting under the waterfall in ten and discuss how we're going to please Zed's ears." Actually, with the … Read more

Dissolute

Intermittent Parasitic Oscillatior
Daredevil (2006)

For this Cleveland math-metal band, this release has been a long time coming. It was several years ago that I heard their first demo; the contained music was raw and frantic, yet it showed great promise. Now, seven years later, I am listening to the band's debut full-length, well sort of. Throughout their time as a band they have recorded … Read more

Protest the Hero

Kezia
Underground Operations (2005)

I have this friend. We'll call him "Max," because that's his name. Max has said some questionable things in the past ("With Honor are the best straight-edge band ever," "I didn't know Henry Rollins was in Black Flag," "I hate Fugazi,") but I've always let it go. So when Max told me, a while ago, that the new Protest the … Read more

John Vanderslice

Pixel Revolt
Barsuk (2005)

I get the distinct impression that John Vanderslice might be a bit of a flake. But after spending some time with Pixel Revolt, I'm also starting to think that he's hit the nail of urban hipster-dom right on it's untidily coiffed head, and on the whole, it's made a pretty satisfying sound. The songs are a bit cynical, and a … Read more

Arctic Monkeys

Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Domino (2006)

In years to come, when the inevitable "I <3 2004" rockumenterary hits television with its small army of washed up never-were celebrities in tow, I can say "I lived through that". I was there putting copies of Franz Ferdinand on the shelves on release day. I danced unabashedly to that catchy Killers single. I shook my fist at many a … Read more

Struckdown

Revolution
Indianola (2006)

I hate one-sheets. In case you are not as media savvy as everyone else, a one-sheet is a sheet of paper that labels send out with their promo releases to record stores, magazines, and other places that sell or review music. Usually on these one-sheets there is something about how great the band is or what great bands they have … Read more

Ed Gein

Judas Goats and Dieseleaters
Black Market Activities (2005)

Dear Lord, this album is a mess. It is tough to get a handle on what is going on initially, partially because Ed Gein had been described to me in two ways: as a grindcore band, and a tech metal band. After hearing Judas Goats and Dieseleaters, I full on disagree with both descriptions. Ed Gein's sound contains elements of … Read more

Nizlopi

Half These Songs are About You
NOVA (2005)

There's only one place this review can start, and that's with the song "JCB". A delicate, soft pop song with innocent lyrics, drawing on all the heroes and protective influences of childhood. Placid guitars, a relaxed voice and with an air of sitting under the one grey cloud on a sunny day, knowing you can get up, walk ten yards … Read more

Fight Like Hell

Demo
Independent (2005)

Let me just give all of you a big fat heads up: Blood Money Records sold out of this demo, so if you were thinking it wasn't hot shit, or that because you aren't from Denver and haven't heard of Fight Like Hell, you are very mistaken. Turns out, anybody with good taste in music already owns this demo. Probably … Read more

The Suicide Machines

On the Eve of Destruction (1991-1995)
Noise Riot (2005)

The Suicide Machines have been a band for a long time now. Close to fifteen years, actually. In that time, they've released 6 studio albums, a retrospective compilation that included two new songs (2002's Least Worst of The Suicide Machines (1995-2001)), and even recorded a song with fellow Detroit "musicians" Insane Clown Posse while both groups were on Hollywood Records … Read more

The Advantage

Elf Titled
5 Rue Christine (2006)

Unlike movies, video game sequels eclipse their predecessors. The graphics are better, the gameplay is tightened, and the quantity of visible buttocks is increased. For The Advantage, a band that only plays video game covers, their second full-length has to be better than the first. For all the gamers in the house, warm up your thumbs and say goodbye to … Read more

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