Across Five Aprils
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Indianola (2006)
December 14, 1999: Poison the Well's Opposite of December was re-released and marked the end of metallic hardcore as everyone before it. Before "Nerdy" made all the mixtapes there was a quite of few metallic edged hardcore bands like Cleveland's apocalyptic Integrity, San Diego's depressive Unbroken, and Vegan Militants Earth Crisis whom all played palmed muted e-chord chugga chugga until … Read more
Adrenaline Mob
Self Titled
Adrenaline Mob (2011)
Adrenaline Mob is a new supergroup featuring some big names in rock music today. The brain-child of drummer Mike Portnoy, the album also features names like Russell Allen, Mike Orlando, Rich Ward, and Paul DiLeo. Though they come from different genres, their combined talents are...Okay, you know what? I can't fucking do this. I just can't.Mike Portnoy is an amazingly … Read more
Andrew W.K.
The Wolf
Island (2003)
I'll keep this short so you kids will understand me. I want the time back I spent listening to this. I feel cheated, robbed, and insulted. This is neither fun nor funny. It's devoid of any worth. It's stupid, it's banal, it's bland. So why does it get a 1.3? Two reasons: one point for not being pop-punk, a point … Read more
Arctic Monkeys
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Domino (2006)
In years to come, when the inevitable "I <3 2004" rockumenterary hits television with its small army of washed up never-were celebrities in tow, I can say "I lived through that". I was there putting copies of Franz Ferdinand on the shelves on release day. I danced unabashedly to that catchy Killers single. I shook my fist at many a … Read more
Basalt Fingers
Basalt Fingers
Three Lobed (2007)
This album definitely puts the "post" back in post-rock. The album consists of only two tracks, each clocking in over twenty minutes. The result is a pretty minimal endeavor, with lots of feedback and ominous sound effects. Obviously, bands like Godspeed! You Black Emperor immediately come to mind, but even that band has more structure than Basalt Fingers. Throughout the … Read more
Big D and the Kids Table
Fluent In Stroll
Side One Dummy (2009)
I have to admit that normally I am not a big horns fan. It really has to take the song to another level for it to do anything for me. Unfortunately there is no evidence of that happening on this release. The back-up singers add a bit of texture here and there, but that doesn't help too much when the … Read more
Bombshell
To Hell with Motives
Indianola (2006)
It's never really a good sign when the first thing that pops into my head when I listen to To Hell with Motives is "ugh." The CD starts off earnestly enough with a noise-laden track that actually had me hoping Deadguy Part Deux. Sadly that never happened as the end of the intro ends with some kid (I believe his … Read more
Boy Sets Fire
Tomorrow Comes Today
Wind-Up (2003)
Whenever a band signs to a major label(or in this case, the closest thing to) you always have naysayers who say, "Oh they are so going to change their sound. Sell outs." Well in 98% of cases, that is wrong. Welcome to the 2%. Now don't get me wrong. I am not calling BSF sellouts. Not at all. What I … Read more
Boy Sets Fire
Tomorrow Comes Today
Wind-Up (2003)
I used to have Boy Sets Fire's After the Eulogy. I thought it was good at the time, but in retrospect, it was pretty awful. I thought I'd give them a second chance by reviewing this CD. Bad Idea. Since BSF signed to a major and claimed they'd never sell out or change their music, they were, for the most … Read more
Brain Failure
American Dreamer
Thorp (2005)
Punk is a relative concept. In 1982, shaving your head into a mohawk and wearing studded jewelry was a symbol of rebellion. It was the aesthetic of a youth movement fueled by frustration with the status quo. It was a visual statement against suburbanite jocks listening to Bad Company and Styx. Today, the mohawk is a passing fad in hair … Read more
Brandtson
Death and Taxes
Deep Elm (2003)
Part of me says it's not Brandtson's fault. They formed way back in 1996, and as such, are quite possibly the last of these so-called "emo" bands left that hasn't broken up, gotten picked up by a major, or enjoyed some moderate degree of success. But part of me says fault or not, there's no excuse for a record being … Read more
Buckcherry
Fuck EP
F-Bomb (2014)
As might be expected considering the word can be used in a variety of ways and can make up nearly every word in a still-coherent sentence, there’s a rich history of use of the f-bomb in music. While the word has sometimes been used to prove a point or make a hard-hitting statement (Rage Against the Machine’s “Killing in the … Read more
Child Abuse
Child Abuse
Lovepump United (2007)
Sometimes when a reviewer receives an album, it can be difficult to decide how best to approach the review. The "spin" so to speak. Is a band history in order? What are their associations with other bands? Is there a glib, irreverent take to be done on the music that will entertain the reader? Not unhindered by other commitments that … Read more
Countime
Broken, Blinded, Betrayed
No Joke (2007)
Just about everything about this release offended me, from the cover photo a bloodied tricycle to one of the members flashing a gang sign in the band photo and Rick ta White saying, "No One! Fuck all you bitches and sorry ass motherfuckers out there!" in the thank-you list. If you haven't guessed, Countime is yet another run of the … Read more
Creature Feature
The Greatest Show Unearthed
Sumerian (2007)
When reviewing an album, it can be difficult to summarize thoughts and feeling elicited from the music you're listening to, to organize these thoughts and feelings in written prose succinctly, honestly, and, above all, professionally. Using these guidelines as my template, I can say with all sincerity, fuck me running, this group is terrible. Creature Feature is the "brain"child of … Read more
David Gray
Life in Slow Motion
ATO (2005)
I'd like to begin this review by thanking the kind people at Dictionary.com and Google.com for their unwitting assistance in the writing of this here review. God bless you. boring adj. Uninteresting and tiresome; dull. boring adv. boringness n. Synonyms: boring, monotonous, tedious, irksome, tiresome, humdrum These adjectives refer to what is so uninteresting as to cause mental weariness. Boring … Read more
Days N Daze
Show Me The Blueprint
Fat Wreck Chords (2020)
I love it when music takes me to places. In my mind there’s two ways a record can do that. First is the kind that is linked to certain events in my life. Sometimes as simple as a book I read at the time of listening. There are albums that transport me to the fantasy worlds I read about when … Read more
Dear Whoever
Sound the Trumpet
Broken Line (2006)
What does it mean to have over 407,000 plays on Purevolume, over 170,000 plays and over 10,000 friends on Myspace? After listening to Dear Whoever's EP, Sound the Trumpet, I have found the answer to these questions, among others. Such as, what happens when you mix teenage angst with Christian metal? And the ever popular, would you rather listen to … Read more
