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Cipher

Children of God's Fire
Uprising (2005)

One of the best jokes ever created was "rap metal." A suburban fusion between nu-metal (i.e. Korn) with a frontman that yelled out words in a "rap" fashion. The result was a golden age of LOL. Remember Limp Bizkit? If you didn't prior to clicking this review, you sure do now. Backwards hats, shaved eyebrows....or maybe I'm just thinking of … Read more

A Wilhelm Scream

Ruiner
Nitro (2005)

A few names come to mind when you hear the term technical punk: Strung Out, Bigwig, and Propagandhi. These bands started off as scrappy punk rockers whose talents progressed as their members became more and more skilled at their craft. A Wilhelm Scream fit perfectly in this category. Formerly known as the band Smackin' Isaiah, A Wilhelm Scream changed their … Read more

Various Artists

Generations: A Hardcore Compilation
Revelation (2005)

I turned 31 about a month ago and at my age a person tends to finally want to "grow up" and get out of hardcore. There's been plenty of lonely Friday and Saturday nights (like tonight) where I've wanted just pack up 90% of my CD collection (the fuck if I'm going to give up my Cro-Mags and Lifetime discs) … Read more

Minus the Bear

Menos el Oso
Suicide Squeeze (2005)

Let's play a game. It's called 'name a better band than Minus the Bear.' Ready, go! Wrong! Ok, you might be right. But let's see you start a review in a more exciting way. You asshole. This is only the second full-length from Minus the Bear. Or as Michael affectionately calls them, 'Amazing' the Bear, nyuk nyuk nyuk. Although, they … Read more

The Fall of Troy

Doppelganger
Equal Vision (2005)

'The Fall of Troy is everything you wish your band could be - younger, faster, louder, and well'better looking. These are the facts, but don't let it get you down. You're a snowflake, unique in your own way.' This is taken from the Equal Vision Records website. With a press release like the above, a band is sure to have … Read more

In the Crosshairs

Partners in Crime
Blood Money (2005)

Partners in Crime opens up with a sound byte of god only knows what (I don't know, maybe something eastern-influenced? Is that PC? Who cares) and melts into metal. I know, I know, since when do things melt into metal? The laws of physics dictate that this is not possible, but the laws of hardcore dictate that it is both … Read more

Dragonland

Starfall
Cleopatra (2005)

I'll be honest. I expected certain things when I attended Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Force show at the Hammersmith Apollo this past spring. I was prepared for all the aging rock couples of London, with their teased hair and blue eyeliner, and for the teenaged spotty hoards in Children of Bodom shirts; the ancient and loyal, mixing with the curious and … Read more

Kanye West

Late Registration
Roc-A-Fella (2005)

'So good!' I've had those two words typed at me too many times in the past few weeks. Any time the subject of Late Registration comes up, there it is. 'So good!' When I actually bought the damn CD, I was surprised there wasn't a little sticker on it saying 'So good!' Apparently, the cashier at the store noticed this … Read more

Sigur Rós

Takk
Geffen (2005)

It must be a truly horrible feeling to have the heart and soul you pour endlessly into your music summed up by thousands in one singular, horrendously monotone phrase: 'bath music.' No matter how many hours you bleed emotion into your chosen art form; to many that art will simply be regarded as something to stick in their stereo system … Read more

Death Cab For Cutie

Plans
Atlantic (2005)

With their fifth full-length, indie music darlings Death Cab for Cutie make the jump from 'the little engine that could,' Barsuk Records, to the big-time of Atlantic Records. But don't pick up that rock just yet. Death Cab isn't deserving of the bludgeoning reserved for traitors. With their latest release, Plans Death Cab stick to what they do best as … Read more

Holy Roman Empire

Lost in Landscapes
Hewhocorrupts Inc. (2005)

Do you remember Ashes? Junction? Hell, even Samuel for that matter? Have your ears ever had the chance to listen to Beta Minus Mechanic? Copper? Idle Hands? Well maybe it's all little rusty for you hardcore kids in the 25 and older age range, so let me refresh your memory. Holy Roman Empire as well as all the bands listed … Read more

Day of Contempt

The Will to Live
Epitaph (2005)

Goddamn! You're more than likely speculating that this record is going to be one of two things because of the profane first impression. It's either going to be an over-the-top, album of the year deal, or just another record you stop halfway through setting aside to collect dust. However, Day of Contempt's The Will to Live is neither of the … Read more

Psyclon 9

I.N.R.I.
Metropolis (2005)

Look in the middle of the booklet of I.N.R.I.. Right there in the center of the middle page, staring up at you is a little caption. This little caption says, 'Why should I believe if God's not here to save me?' This is how the album begins, with multi-repetitions of this same line. The anti-Christian platitudes don't stop there, though, … Read more

Internal Affairs

Internal Affairs
Malfunction (2005)

Corey Williams scares me. Now, this isn't anything bad because Williams is a great guy. But add a microphone and a stage - or maybe just a microphone - and this man turns into someone that you probably don't want to meet in a darken alleyway. If Mr. Williams is scary, Internal Affairs frightens me to death. After several prominent … Read more

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