ARTICLE JUMP
I know even as I type this out there will be people rolling their eyes at this article. There will be scores upon scores of people commenting with "who cares?" and "look, old man, you need to get with it already." I know this and I'm prepared to take it on the chin but you know something, maybe I shouldn't care, but I do. Maybe I do need to get with it, but I don't. The thing is, you kids, need to stop calling every goddamn cute pimply side hair swooped, flat billed, block lettered t-shirt wearing band "pop-punk." Enough all ready.
The term pop-punk, like almost any genre defining term in music, is always full of loopholes and exceptions. Nevertheless, when you say something like "pop-punk" it does tend make a person think of certain bands that fit the criteria. When someone says "pop-punk," my mind tends to think of three to four guys that drink a lot of cheap beer in their mom's basement while clanging out simple three-chord songs about girls and uterus...unteruses? Uteri? They might even all have thick black "birth control" glasses and couldn't get laid in a morgue. However, they do write some good songs. Songs about the high school, even know they are in the late 20's, they never really left. Songs about that one girl that got away. Songs about that girl that broke their heart; that cold heartless demon spawn of a girl. How dare she leave you for a jock? The music is always fast, sometimes sloppy, consistently fun, and somewhat soul crushingly honest and depressing that you can't help but raise your beer high and sing along.
Like I already mentioned, there is always exceptions to the rule. The Descendents sang about girls but they really didn't have that sound I tend to link to pop-punk itself, so are they a pop-punk band? In a roundabout way, yes. Are the Ataris? For the same reason as the Descendents, yes. Green Day? Up till Dookie,, you betcha. Avail? No. Lifetime? Get the fuck outta here.
Yeah, we could piss and moan about what is pop-punk all day long. That isn't what this article is about. It's about what pop-punk is not. If your band has ex-members of metalcore bands in their ranks and want to right an album full of hooks yet still have mosh parts. You are not a pop-punk band. If your band looks like it just stepped out of Urban Outfitters, you are not a pop-punk band. If you have ever used an oversized image of neon-green dinosaur attacking a monkey on your shirts, you are not a pop-punk band. New Found Glory? No. Fireworks? No. Four Year Strong? No. Fight Fair? You are kidding me, right? I don't care what you kids want to call this music. Call it "popcore" or "bubblegum core," whatever, call it "shit smothered in shinola on a summer day in May." Just for me... make an old man happy, stop calling it pop-punk.
(Jason)
