ARTICLE JUMP
For the fourth year running, it's time to highlight the worst album sleeves that have graced record store shelves this year. Fear not, gentle reader, 2008 has not been easy on the eyes, and some of our usual suspects managed to outdo themselves once more. Without further ado:
Justice of the Unicorns - Angels With Uzis
Seriously. I guess after you name your band "Justice of the Unicorn", you make the decision to forget about the idea of self-respect, being taken seriously, and artistic integrity. That's why you slap a child's drawing of an angel (with weird, Madonna-esque triangular breasts) on your sleeve.
The Mars Volta - The Bedlam In Goliath
Of course, it wouldn't be a SPB Worst Album Covers roundup without a Mars Volta contribution. While not the worst of their offerings, this cover is at least sixteen times more interesting than the music it sheathes within, which is a positive I suppose. Rumours that the woman in the foreground represents Omar Rodriguez-Lopez's ego in relation to the rest of the hired hands, uh, bandmembers, are so far unconfirmed.
Alopecia - Why?
Yep. Why?
Up The Fury - Behind Every Mind
Apparently their designer hasn't seen Bad Religion's The Empire Strikes First cover.
Various Artists - Punk Goes Crunk
This record didn't need to be made, let alone the cover, but here it is before us. What are the dice all about? I'm certainly no crunk expert, but six dice seem a little excessive. Maybe these "crunks" are secret D&D fans?
The Estranged - Static Thoughts
More like Static Boring.
Weezer - "The Red Album"
I love this record, but I'm offended that the band chose it. While it represents the musical content in that the band are just doing whatever they like, fans be damned, the difference is that the songs on this album are actually good. This Village People-esque joke would look out of place at a Star Trek convention.
The Offspring - Rise And Fall, Rage And Grace
What I like about this is how at first it looks like an awful joke, but then when you examine it it's actually quite good, but then morphs back into an awful joke. The centrepoint illustration is actually moderately tolerable. The problem is the 2 minute Photoshop glow applied clumsily to the background, and the generic stencil font that's being raped all over it. I imagine that the band's design budget ran out midway through the project, so they took what the artist supplied and finished it up themselves on a spare laptop. Now that's DIY.
Harmonic Motion - Volume 1
I don't even know who this band are or what they do (is it even a band?) but I hate them and anything related to them.
GZA - Pro Tools
While GZA might be a pro at producing beats and rhymes, settling for this trashy piece of generic Photoshop generic-core isn't all that pro.
Special Mention: United Nations
Now, awful band names aside, these guys win some bonus points for producing the first mockup of the Abbey Road artwork that's actually interesting, funny, satirical and edgy. Good work, fellas.
(Matt)
