This record is so funny I almost shat my pants. Not ha-ha funny, mind you, but "fuck, this is so fucking old school" funny. Well, maybe not even that. Maybe more like "god, this is so old" funny. If you were hoping for innovative or experimental, you will not get it from A New Chapter. One might say this is not a chapter, but rather a sequel to an age of hardcore long thought dead, or perhaps one might say this is a different chapter in hardcore, but certainly not a new one. Either way, instead of waiting for the next mind-blowing, earth-shattering, revolutionary thing to happen, I was sitting alone; shitting my pants with laughter, wondering when hardcore became a joke.
Thanks Triple Threat, for giving us this record, which sounds just like every other old school hardcore record that has ever come out. I, of course, enjoy Floorpunch and Bold to no end, so it makes me happy to hear songs like "Our Day" and "Break It," which were obviously mediocre discarded tracks from early in their careers. The chugga-chugga-breakdown-chugga formula is tried and true, like the Pythagorean Theorem, so thanks for using that without actually getting mathy on us like you were Converge or Dillinger Escape Plan. By the way, I never liked Dillinger anyway, so seriously, thanks for not doing that.
Triple Threat, thanks for being members of every band ever and creating a melodious curmudgeon of your so-called different sounds. Thanks for doing what every band featuring an ex-member of Saetia has done, which is sound exactly like Saetia. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you sound like Saetia, who totally suck. Rather, I meant to say I haven't decided which former band you sound most like - Hands Tied, The First Step, or Mouthpiece. I don't really care, but these are the sort of decisions one has to make when assessing the mediocre.
Seriously guys, I really enjoyed your record. It made me want to go hang out with Floorpunch and Judge and ask them what the hell is going on with hardcore these days. While I'm doing that, you guys should feel free to put out another boring filler album to keep me entertained while I wait for the next Bane record. The Note, by the way, is a new chapter in my love for Bane, but that's an entirely different review.
