Review / Multiple Authors
Thrice
Artist In the Ambulance

This record is by no means bad, but it's also not a great record. As a newcomer to Thrice, I was prepared to give this an un-biased review. Once I'd sat and listened through the record, I was sad to hear (literally) that they didn't stand out much from the current crop of hardcore/emo/punk/metal-core bands currently populating the scene.

While the sound of the record is good, the music does not really vary, and a lot of the tracks seem to follow similar formats, with a bass-and-drums combo for a lot of the verses that crops up on several songs - one listen to the songs 'All That's Left' and 'Stare At The Sun' could make you believe the two were the same song, based on the intros.

A lot of tracks feature multi-layered guitar parts, which could have improved this record, but instead they get pretty similar and unoriginal - they seem to be trying to combine the riffs of Iron Maiden/Slayer, as Sean said, with the pop-core melodies of Finch.

Thrice have potential. They can definetely play, and some songs on this record do break out from the formulaic structure. However, this record will probably increase their popularity with the kids that want hardcore in a can - watered down, simplified music that won't challenge them too much. If Thrice worked harder on improving their sound and writing more originally, they could be onto a winner. However, their current position will probably yield a win, at least, commerically, so the chances are slim.

You've heard this record before. Honestly, you have. The last time that band you know jumped ship from their indie and put out a big budget major label debut, actually. Cave In already made this record earlier this year. Granted, Cave In had a mind-blowing first record to give themselves some credibility, which Thrice most certainly did not, but let's stick to the situation at hand. The whole thing sounds like the hollow and heartless drivel that bored kids with nothing to say usually end up committing to tape; your local high school talent show probably had four or five bands that wrote songs exactly like these, only without the budget. It's a band going through the motions because they really have no soul to what they're doing, with your typical post-hardcore mish-mash of palm-muted guitars and over-the-top faux emo screams, livened up by the "pummeling" rhythm section any band like this has to have. They "mix it up" with some hardcore flourishes here and there (opener "Cold Cash and Colder Hearts" is a good example) and some pop-punk every now and then (see the title track, it's the best New Found Glory song they never wrote). How the band got twelve songs to sound exactly the same at their core is a mystery to me, but I'm not going to devote any more of my time to trying to figure that out. It's not so much bad as it is just entirely unnecessary. It's the sort of thing that the general public perceives as original or dangerous because it's tailor-made for that exact purpose. The whole thing sounds slick and fake, like it was designed to be played in commercials for sports drinks and the X-Games. Everything on this record has been done a million times before, and regardless of how good it sounds, you can't cover up the sound of a band with no original ideas with any amount of studio trickery. If you have discerning taste, you already know that this record isn't very good, and by reading this you're just looking to see if our opinions are one and the same. By that criteria, you'd also know that if you wanted to listen to good post-punk, you'd browse through Dischord's or Touch & Go's catalog before looking at Island Records. Why someone would waste their time with something as second-rate and trivial as this boggles my mind when there's far better material out there, but I've arrived at the sad fact that the kids who buy this record don't want to seek out anything better than this, maybe because they're lazy, or stupid, or maybe they just don't know any better (and it will only be kids, believe me; no intelligent person over the age of twenty would own this, they know better by now). The youth will eat this record up, so get ready to here it being blasted from the speakers of cars leaving high school parking lots across the country, because no amount of my complaining will prevent that from happening.

Thrice have built quite a large fanbase in quite a short period of time. Perhaps this was one of the factors that led them to singing to a major label (Island) and subsequently shooting out a new record less than a year and a half after the release of their second full-length record, The Illusion of Safety. Illusion sparked that major label interest and introduced Thrice to a lot of new fans. It did for Thrice a fraction of what their major label debut will do for them.

The Artist in the Ambulance doesn't dare to stray away from Thrice's signature sound, blending elements of hardcore, pop-punk, "emo", and OH YAH, metal! m/!!! At most, it takes Thrice's old sound, polishes it a tad bit more, and tunes up the melodies a notch. They haven't changed enough to lose a large chunk of fans, but just enough to fuel a few idiotic elitists to declare Thrice 'sell-outs'. With tracks like 'Under a Killing Moon', you'd think you were listening to Illusion of Safety 2: Return to Hardcore Infused Pop-Punk With Cheesy Metal Licks Island, but then you hit a track like the record's first single, 'All That's Left', and you can't help but think that maybe they aren't returning to the above mentioned island, but are instead heading to Radio Rock City. Not that any track on this record wouldn't fit quite well alongside the likes of Nickelback, Box Car Racer, or Good Charlotte, but 'All That's Left' hits with one of Thrice's catchiest melodies mixed with an easy to swallow 'pop-punk with emotion' feeling.

Have I mentioned those guitar licks?! Man, I'd swear I was listening to an Iron Maiden record...or..not. Thrice abuses their little 'we're both Slayer and Blink 182 fans' gimmick, and it becomes blatantly clear that their trying to be 'technical', which I guess, to some coughpoppunkkidscough, they might be, but technical doesn't mean interesting. While Thrice's songs do not necessarily conform to basic song structure completely, they don't really skillfully surprise you with their song structures, thus you get a saddeningly predictable listening experience.

The title track catches Thrice at their most watered-down. Name a Drive-Thru band, and you could've probably found "The Artist in the Ambulance" on their record. Straight up pop-punk, but completely failing to bring about a memorable melody. The big closer, "Don't Tell and We Won't Ask", fails to leave any kind of impression. Basically, it's just another Thrice track.

The entire album lacks variety and imagination. Thrice are definitely a semi-talented band with a knack for writing a catchy tune, they just need to harness that ability and put together a record with a bit more intelligent, a bit more maturity, a lot more interesting songwriting, and throw in a few surprises.The Artist is an enjoyable record, I enjoy it, but you can feel it growing older exponentially with each listen. This record is sure to please long-time Thricers and with a few catchy melodies, their accessible sound, and major label push, they're sure to get a great deal of new fans. Good for them, I guess.