"I see the hate / It's coming down / Down like the rain." Thus begins the greatest song about rain and hate that has ever been pressed to vinyl. Of course I'm talking about the Judge masterpiece "The Storm" a song so amazing that it got a sequel, "The Storm II". Yes I said, "amazing" and to anyone that knows me I only say amazing when it's something that I would consider on the same level as seeing a virgin birth or maybe a really great stage dive. So how could I not swoop down a promo from a band called The Storm? How could a band that named themselves after the greatest song about rain and hate be nothing but the greatest band that has ever lived? Silly fucking me.
The Storm is a band from Pennsylvania that is composed of five guys, two of whom are wearing their caps cocked to one side and one token metal dude. Yeah you guessed it, Relentless is yet another metalcore album that owes their sound more to Throwdown and At the Gates rather the same league of Judge. Well maybe The Storm has copy of Bringing it Down somewhere in their record collection. One can only hope. I highly doubt it, but a band this straightedge should probably listen to Judge some time in their short useless career.
Sorry, I just cannot get past the Judge thing. Quite frankly I'd rather listen to Old Smoke right now than some xtough guyx sing about never breaking or having songs about their brothers in the xFamilyx. This is exactly the type of band that's turned straightedge hardcore into a bonehead testosterone filled meat market. It's a scene bred on intolerance and killing drug dealers than it is about being fed up or being stabbed in the back from friends.
The Storm is just yet another mosh-core band decked out in black t-shirts and camo pants. They probably have some impressive mosh calls like, "Take the person next to you and throw them into a volcano" or "Someone call AAA because here comes a breakdown". Everything on Relentless is a breakdown, you don't even go ten seconds into the first track without hearing the token mosh part with a mosh part and it doesn't stop there. Every song is a mosh masterpiece made for Donkey Kong-ing, spin kicks, and other violent moshing bullshit that has turned some shows into the end battle of Blood Sport or maybe The New Karate Kid. When The Storm tries to break away from the mosh they only get more ridiculous by adding in a singing part in the song "The Takeover." A singing part that's so awkward and out of place you basically can do nothing but squirm in your seat and wait for it to be over. If it isn't mosh, or bad singing, it's fucking metal. Bad chugga-chugga down-tuned metal. Dimebag is rolling in his grave.
How can a band call itself "The Storm" and produce what is quite possibly the most generic straightedge mosh metal album of all time? Judge is the greatest straightedge band to ever exist and The Storm is the worst. There is nothing on Relentless that is redeemable. Right down to the Derek Hess artwork and the shitty Jacob Bannon rip-off skull band logo. I've never been so disappointed in a band.
