Review
The Neon Hookers
Calling All Creeps!

Cabal (2006) — Michael

The Neon Hookers – Calling All Creeps! cover artwork
The Neon Hookers – Calling All Creeps! — Cabal, 2006

Calling All Creeps! is the debut EP from The Neon Hookers. Okay, so the band's choice in name isn't the greatest, but 1) most band names suck and 2) haven't you ever heard the phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover?" On their debut, this five-piece outfit from the hardcore factory of Massachusetts serves up seven tracks of rock-influenced metallic hardcore.

Things kick off with the "Ghost Beach." The song introduces the listener to the fast-paced assault that The Neon Hookers deliver over the eighteen-minute EP. The drums really dominate the music, pushing the pace faster and faster as the songs unfold. The riffs are crisp and pack a punch; the bass is really poppy, though it is rarely heard due to the mix. The vocals of Ian Hickey are semi-high pitched screams that brought to mind The Warriors' Marshall Licthenwaldt.

"Be Careful What You Wish For" has a nice breakdown toward the beginning of the song and also has a catchy melodic guitar line toward the middle before it hits the breakdown for kids to set things off on the dance floor. "Say Cheese or Die!" features an excellent bridge section that builds into an up-tempo break toward the middle of the track - I heard a bit of No Warning in there.

The band's rock-influence is really exhibited on the title track, the riffs are that groove reminiscent of The Suicide File. There is also a little guitar solo flair. I also enjoyed the sing-along "We're calling all the creeps" to round out the song. On "You Can't Scare Me!" the guitar solo returns; again, that rock influence rearing its face. "Deep Trouble" has a nice breakdown partnered with Hickey screaming the song-title over and over. The Neon Hookers wrap things up with "Let's Get Invisible." The song opens with some interesting riffs, which again brought to mind The Warriors.

So, by now you've got to be asking yourself, "What's up with those song titles?" Well they're all titles to different books in the Goosebumps series. Which to me means these guys are having fun while they're playing. Which is good, because sometimes you need an escape from all the seriousness that is involved with hardcore/punk music.

All in all, this is a good debut effort from a fairly new band. Calling All Creeps! is a bit repetitive and unoriginal at times, but over time I feel the band will continue to write and record songs that'll give them a more diversified and unique sound.

6.5 / 10 — Michael • November 29, 2006

The Neon Hookers – Calling All Creeps! cover artwork
The Neon Hookers – Calling All Creeps! — Cabal, 2006

Related news

The Neon Hookers Call It Quits

Posted in Splits on April 2, 2008

The Neon Hookers / All In Tourdates

Posted in Tours on June 16, 2007

The Neon Hookers Posts New Songs

Posted in MP3s on June 4, 2007

Recently-posted album reviews

Contention

Nuclear Summer
Daze (2026)

Contention, I would argue, has spent the last few years at or near the top of the heap of the return to 90's styled Straight Edge Metalcore. I am being specific because there is no mistaking Contention's influences nor their message. This is a STRAIGHT EDGE band that is far more indebted to Morning Again that anything that uses a … Read more

A Secret Revealed

The Ruin I Summoned Forth
Lifeforce (2026)

There are albums that use heaviness as an assault and others that use it to create an atmosphere. On The Ruin I Summoned Forth, A Secret Revealed manage to does both. The German quintet’s fourth full-length is an enormous, bleak piece of post-metal, but calling it post-metal only gets you part of the way there. Black metal cuts through its … Read more

Time Spent Driving

Lost Leaves
Thirty Something Records (2026)

There's a particular challenge facing bands that came out of the late '90s and early '00s emo scene. You can recreate the sound people remember and risk becoming your own nostalgia act, or you can abandon it entirely and risk losing whatever made the band matter in the first place. Time Spent Driving choose neither on Lost Leaves. More than … Read more