Review
Ride Your Bike
Bad News from the Bar

Deep Elm (2008) Jason

Ride Your Bike – Bad News from the Bar cover artwork
Ride Your Bike – Bad News from the Bar — Deep Elm, 2008

Bad News from the Bar serves as a soundtrack for a screenplay that Ride Your Bike member Mike Getches wrote. In the supposed movie which I shall entitle Emo Schlock #24564, he tells the story of childhood friends Lillian and Elliot drifting apart due to Elliot's big city dreams. Apparently they find each other again through police interrogators, druggie neighbors, and an apparent fiery plane crash. What? Emo Schlock #24564 sounds like yet another movie featuring way too much dialog, no explosions, and a cute lead actress dressed completely in warm knitted clothing - sweaters, scarves, leg warmers, etc. There are plenty of moments within the movie where one of the stars looks forlorn at a setting sunset on a hood of a Toyota Camry.

I suppose if I were the screenwriter for Emo Schlock #24564 I would want to use Bad News from the Bar for my soundtrack. They play light airy somewhat indie/pop-rock with an emphasis of acoustic driven songs and occasional cute female vocals corresponding with a semi-whiny dude singing about her. The songs themselves remind of drinking a diet caffeine free can of Coke. It's tasteless, boring, and provides nothing in it to keep my attention. It's okay to wash down a burrito but on its own it leaves me unfulfilled and sort of ticked off.

I have nothing against love songs but I get a little bored and cranky by this recent deluge of singer-songwriters that spend more time in Urban Outfitters looking for that perfect ironic t-shirt than they do actually writing good songs. Bad News From the Bar is a collection of cutesy pop songs with glimpses of catchiness but it comes off so cheesy that you would expect this as a soundtrack for well, a really boring movie featuring tons of talking and a girl that knits a lot. Songs like "This Car is Hot as Hell" could be a single along side that craptactular "Hey Delilah" song by the most boring band on the planet, The Plain White T's. "This Car is Hot as Hell" isn't as boring but it is in the same vein - poppy rock used to get into college girls' pants.

Minus the dorm room hanky-panky of "This Car is Hot as Hell" and the rocking emo tracks of "So If We" and "Coat Rack," Bad News from the Bar is a smattering of comely songs that your girlfriend will probably like if she happens to be between the ages of sixteen and twenty-two and thinks Jack Johnson is amazing. However, for this grizzled thirty-three-year-old reviewer I'm having a hard time keeping down my lunch. I'm not nearly as offended as I thought I would be by this album after I found out this was some kid's soundtrack to a movie he's writing. However, it doesn't make me like Ride Your Bike and I'd probably fall into a deep coma during your movie, Mike. This type of music might make girls get all hot and bothered, however I'm just bothered heading towards the level of being annoyed by all the acoustic guitars and cornball love songs. This may be the soundtrack to your great love affair, however it's the soundtrack to my headache right now and I want to listen to something that's a little more rocking and little less overbearingly sappy. Good luck with that movie though.

2.0 / 10Jason • April 7, 2008

Ride Your Bike – Bad News from the Bar cover artwork
Ride Your Bike – Bad News from the Bar — Deep Elm, 2008

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