"I'm as straight as the line that you sniff up your nose / I'm as hard as the booze that you swill down your throat / I'm as bad as the shit you breathe into your lungs / And I'll fuck you up as fast as the pill on your tongue / STRAIGHT EDGE REVENGE!" Oh. Fuck. Yes. There's no way you can tell me that "Straight Edge Revenge" is not one of the most kick-ass straightedge anthems this side of "Nailed to the X."
Upon listening to Straight Edge Revenge, it's perfectly clear that the straight-edge supergroup featuring members of Judge, Gorilla Biscuits, and numerous others known as Project X weren't exactly musically profound in their heyday. Hell, they practically make Youth of Today look like Dream Theater by comparison. What is here, however, is one of the most distinct and unpretentious straight-edge hardcore releases to emerge from the late-80's scene. And fortunately for those of us under 30, or unwilling to blow hundreds of clams on eBay, Bridge Nine has taken the liberty of reissuing this long out of print classic - the original pressing was limited to 500 7"s as part of an underground zine supplement.
In a day and age where hardcore suffers from a crippling bout of taking itself way too seriously, it's refreshing as hell to be reminded of a time when bands were playing for the fun as well as the love of it. From the potentially Matthew Broderick movie-referencing band name to the 8-second song "Cross Me," there's a presiding sense of tongue-in-cheek throughout the EP's minuscule duration - seven songs in nine minutes. The hyper-rudimentary guitar lines and blunt lyrics are a perfect definition of how hardcore should sound: the direct antithesis to the hoards of slickly-produced, over-polished acts passing for hardcore these days. Remember when bands weren't on a pedestal above the audience? Project X is only too happy to offer a swift reminder.
All in all, this is almost entirely worth it for the title track alone, but "Shutdown," "Dance Floor Justice," and the others certainly hold their own, serving as a rewarding glimpse back into hardcore's golden age.
