Review
Justice of the Unicorns
Angels with Uzis

Little Lamb (2008) Graham Isador

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Yesterday, I received my bi-monthly batch of promos. While sorting through the records an album named Angels with Uzis by the band Justice of the Unicorns caught my eye. If the image on your right is a bit too small let me take the liberty of describing what's going on with the album's cover. Above a burning skyline is what I can only assume to be a six year olds interpretation of angels, complete with triangle breasts and polka dotted lighting bolt wings. Floating beside their hands are rainbow-colored guns shooting out small red hearts in place of bullets. This unique drawing, an obvious comment on our western society's wanton use of religion as the justification for violence as instilled in and embodied by our children, speaks to the record's theme as a whole. The objective of this truly magnificent protest album is to mobilize herds of apathetic, well dressed, youngsters in order to finally realize the potential of our post-modern society. And who better to champion the movement than indie rockers sounding like a cross between the lethargic and uppity side of an art school dropout after one too many bong hits?

I'll admit I made up the stuff about the revolution. It's just that I seriously have no idea what is going on with this record. The album opens to the sound of an audience's cheerful laughter and a delightful circus-like organ that is rudely interrupted by repeated gunfire and screaming. I mean, really, what the fuck man? The music itself has that cute folk feeling that comes with whiny voices singing endearingly simplistic/juvenile lyrics, but just remains really, really, weird. For example, Angels with Uzis houses such great lines as, "Jesus had a girlfriend / To wash his robes for him / But he got too fat," and has an entire song devoted to chasing a fictional dragon.

While I am aware that, or at least I suppose that, Justice of the Unicorns don't take themselves too seriously, I can't quite kick the feeling of the whole album being a giant inside joke that I don't get. Maybe I'm not high enough. But with the success of the Juno soundtrack it seems that kids these days love this stuff. Go figure.

See also

Indie, Juno, Weird

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Recently-posted album reviews

Opus Kink

The Sweet Goodbye
So Recordings (2026)

ALBUM HIGHLIGHTS – “Come Over, Do Me Wrong”, “The Sweet Goodbye”, “I Have to Shine My Sunday Shoes”, “Crucify!” Opus Kink sound like nobody else. To call them “jazz punk” is to massively oversimplify it. In fact, there’s not much traditionally “punk” about them. If anything, it’s “noise rock”, but with traces of almost every other genre you could name. … Read more

Sludgeworth

Second Time Around
Red Scare Industries (2026)

I never got very into Screeching Weasel and the extended family tree. Ignoring the politics of the matter, the music never really hit that sweet spot for me either. But Sludgeworth were an exception. The band released just one album, that I discovered at least 10years after its release, but seemingly disappeared -- only to resurface after a 2022 reissue … Read more

Social Distortion

Born to Kill
Epitaph (2026)

Rating: 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🚬 / 10 (8 Tipped Martini Glasses and a Cigarette) Remember that movie Fantastic Voyage, where a miniaturized submarine gets inserted into a person's bloodstream on a mission to clear a blood clot in the brain? Well, consider yourself in luck: I’m infiltrating your brain with my own fantastic journey with Social Distortion, which goes all the way back … Read more