Review
Justice of the Unicorns
Angels with Uzis

Little Lamb (2008) Graham Isador

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Yesterday, I received my bi-monthly batch of promos. While sorting through the records an album named Angels with Uzis by the band Justice of the Unicorns caught my eye. If the image on your right is a bit too small let me take the liberty of describing what's going on with the album's cover. Above a burning skyline is what I can only assume to be a six year olds interpretation of angels, complete with triangle breasts and polka dotted lighting bolt wings. Floating beside their hands are rainbow-colored guns shooting out small red hearts in place of bullets. This unique drawing, an obvious comment on our western society's wanton use of religion as the justification for violence as instilled in and embodied by our children, speaks to the record's theme as a whole. The objective of this truly magnificent protest album is to mobilize herds of apathetic, well dressed, youngsters in order to finally realize the potential of our post-modern society. And who better to champion the movement than indie rockers sounding like a cross between the lethargic and uppity side of an art school dropout after one too many bong hits?

I'll admit I made up the stuff about the revolution. It's just that I seriously have no idea what is going on with this record. The album opens to the sound of an audience's cheerful laughter and a delightful circus-like organ that is rudely interrupted by repeated gunfire and screaming. I mean, really, what the fuck man? The music itself has that cute folk feeling that comes with whiny voices singing endearingly simplistic/juvenile lyrics, but just remains really, really, weird. For example, Angels with Uzis houses such great lines as, "Jesus had a girlfriend / To wash his robes for him / But he got too fat," and has an entire song devoted to chasing a fictional dragon.

While I am aware that, or at least I suppose that, Justice of the Unicorns don't take themselves too seriously, I can't quite kick the feeling of the whole album being a giant inside joke that I don't get. Maybe I'm not high enough. But with the success of the Juno soundtrack it seems that kids these days love this stuff. Go figure.

See also

Indie, Juno, Weird

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Recently-posted album reviews

Ace Enders

Posture Syndrome
Pure Noise (2025)

If the name Ace Enders sounds familiar, it should. He’s been the voice behind The Early November, one of Drive-Thru Records’ cornerstone emo bands in the early 2000s. While that scene exploded, Ace carved his own path with that band, as well as solo experiments under the name I Can Make a Mess, and the occasional record as Ace Enders … Read more

Summer Blue

Self Titled EP
New Morality Zine (2025)

You may not be familiar with the band Summer Blue, but that’s your issue. If you do know the San Jose, CA based band, then you know how enjoyable they are to listen to. For some background for the newcomers, the band started in 2022 as a side project between friends already orbiting the Bay Area DIY and indie scenes. … Read more

Relay For Death

Mutual Consuming
Helen Scarsdale Agency (2025)

At a time when experimental artists are constantly churning out new music, it is curious to find some that take their time. Rachel and Roxann Spikula might not be the most prolific creatives, but when they make an appearance, it is worth paying attention. The twin sisters have performed in Towering Heroic Dudes and Boyzone, but it is their own … Read more