Review
Justice of the Unicorns
Angels with Uzis

Little Lamb (2008) Graham Isador

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Yesterday, I received my bi-monthly batch of promos. While sorting through the records an album named Angels with Uzis by the band Justice of the Unicorns caught my eye. If the image on your right is a bit too small let me take the liberty of describing what's going on with the album's cover. Above a burning skyline is what I can only assume to be a six year olds interpretation of angels, complete with triangle breasts and polka dotted lighting bolt wings. Floating beside their hands are rainbow-colored guns shooting out small red hearts in place of bullets. This unique drawing, an obvious comment on our western society's wanton use of religion as the justification for violence as instilled in and embodied by our children, speaks to the record's theme as a whole. The objective of this truly magnificent protest album is to mobilize herds of apathetic, well dressed, youngsters in order to finally realize the potential of our post-modern society. And who better to champion the movement than indie rockers sounding like a cross between the lethargic and uppity side of an art school dropout after one too many bong hits?

I'll admit I made up the stuff about the revolution. It's just that I seriously have no idea what is going on with this record. The album opens to the sound of an audience's cheerful laughter and a delightful circus-like organ that is rudely interrupted by repeated gunfire and screaming. I mean, really, what the fuck man? The music itself has that cute folk feeling that comes with whiny voices singing endearingly simplistic/juvenile lyrics, but just remains really, really, weird. For example, Angels with Uzis houses such great lines as, "Jesus had a girlfriend / To wash his robes for him / But he got too fat," and has an entire song devoted to chasing a fictional dragon.

While I am aware that, or at least I suppose that, Justice of the Unicorns don't take themselves too seriously, I can't quite kick the feeling of the whole album being a giant inside joke that I don't get. Maybe I'm not high enough. But with the success of the Juno soundtrack it seems that kids these days love this stuff. Go figure.

See also

Indie, Juno, Weird

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Recently-posted album reviews

Citric Dummies

Split With Turnstile
Feel It Records (2025)

Citric Dummies might be the band I saw live the most often in 2025, yet I put off a thorough review of their latest LP until the calendar turned to 2026. Anyway, Split With Turnstile, besides having a great title, continues the band's garage-punk sound that draws from a deep array of influences from eggpunk to '80s hardcore while mostly … Read more

Pageant Mum

Finis Amoris Est
Red Tape Music (2026)

Breakup records usually announce themselves with a band. There is betrayal, shouting, and doors slamming shut. Finis Amoris Est, the new EP from UK post-hardcore outfit Pageant Mum, takes a different route. It’s a record about what happens after the blowup, when the noise dies down and you’re left alone with the quieter, harder questions. Across these four tracks, the … Read more

Pat Todd & The Rankoutsiders

After The Dolls
Heavy Medication Records (2026)

Pat Todd is a roots rock and roll incarnate — a relentless road dog, grinding it out night after night with his hot-as-buckshot band, The Rankoutsiders. His shows are raw, electric, and lived-in, a testament to decades on the road. With a career spanning over forty years, Todd has earned a reputation as one of the hardest-working men in the … Read more