Review
Heideroosjes
Royal to the Bone

I Scream (2006) Matt

Heideroosjes – Royal to the Bone cover artwork
Heideroosjes – Royal to the Bone — I Scream, 2006

If the name didn't clue you in, Heideroosjes ("the Meadow Flowers") are one of those oft-mentioned European punk bands; they're the kind who sell thousands of records but you've never heard of them. The sticker on the front of the CD case says, "Over 200,000 units sold in Europe," as an apparent selling point, followed by "For fans of Anti-Flag, Green Day and Bad Religion." Personally I'd liken them to a poppier Pennywise rather than any of those three, but maybe I'm missing something.

I'm certainly missing something when it comes to the lyrics, because I honestly can't understand how a band that sings, "keep your mouth shut 'cause it smells like fish" can sell 200,000 records. While the band have sang in several languages including Dutch and German as well as English, I'm not entirely sure that this exempts them from writing lines that make me want to cringe and turn the CD off. Some examples:

So maybe I just should

act like one of those

And punch a harmless granny

real hard up her nose

Here I'm standing, yes, I'm crying

Oh my God I feel like dying

I am not a tough guy anymore

And most cringe worthy of all:

I just know a few chords on my guitar

Hear me sing, I just sound like Dylan

with a too tight bra

While there's plenty of bands who earn a living writing songs with comedic lyrics, Heideroosjes don't seem to fit that label (particularly with the Bad Religion sticker on the front). Many of the lyrics are labeled as being written in the 90's, which definitely shows.

Musically, the band is pretty tight. Well-produced pop-punk with a slightly tougher edge than some of their compatriots, with an occasional foray into Irish-sounding ballads, like a European Flogging Molly. A little like their peers Millencolin, they play a pretty familiar Americanized version of punk rock that doesn't betray too much of their geographical origins. However, there are one or two odd musical decisions, such as a bizarre vocal effect on "Nothing's Wrong" that turns a NYHC-esque breakdown chorus into a laughable joke. Equally, a song called "Rockstar Heaven" about "Kurt, Jim, Keith and Jimmy" is another weird decision that doesn't do much for the band. "Scapegoat Revolution" features lyrics about being sixteen and getting picked on, so it's fairly clear what audience the band are playing to.

It feels almost unfair to criticize the lyrics of a band for whom English is probably not their first language (some odd phrasing and spellings in the liner notes attest to this), but there's no excusing lines like "We've got to break the public peace / To save the ones we love, the kids, the trees".

Heideroosjes are probably forerunners of the Dutch scene, but it's going to take more than this to make them successful in a wider market. My advice to the band is to work out how seriously they want to be taken, because currently, it's hard to imagine identifying with these lyrics unless you're a thirteen-year-old who thinks Fat Mike is the Mozart of politics and humor. If they don't, it seems that "big in Europe" is likely to become a metaphor for "a poor clone of American music."

5.3 / 10Matt • September 3, 2006

Heideroosjes – Royal to the Bone cover artwork
Heideroosjes – Royal to the Bone — I Scream, 2006

Recently-posted album reviews

Cel Ray

Cel Rayzer
Exploding In Sound Records (2026)

I don’t remember how, but I stumbled across Chicago’s Cel Ray in 2023 on the heels of their debut EP, Cellular Raymond. I was immediately hooked. After another EP and a single, the band finally brings us their debut long player, Cel Rayzer. To no surprise, it’s excellent. Cel Ray plays a brand of post-punk that’s lo-fi and streamlined. Singer … Read more

Bevis Frond

Horrorful Heights
Fire Records (2026)

God loves Nick Saloman, and from the heavens, the expulsion of the beloved archangel fell and spawned Horrorful Heights. A 20-track double-album behemoth. Eighty-eight minutes of musical mayhem. Who does that anymore? nobody. As they edit themselves down to make nice, safe Spotify playlists, Nick just dumps the whole glorious attic on your head like the wicked witch of the … Read more

Nine Pound Hammer

Too Outlaw For Outlaw Country
Reptilian Records (2026)

For nearly forty years, Nine Pound Hammer have occupied a strange corner of American music that very few bands have ever managed to touch. They're too loud for traditional country, too country for most punk bands, too dirty for radio rock, and frankly too stubborn to care where anyone thinks they belong. That's exactly why Too Outlaw For Outlaw Country … Read more