My inner monologue:
"Okay, this is your first review for the site. I should probably sound cool so I can get everybody's attention. Maybe I should start off by saying something really offensive. Yeah, let's do that. That always works. Hey, but remember that time you wrote that really offensive article on why you think the Asian diet consists purely of dead rats and rice? That didn't go over really well. Did it? No, it didn't. But you can't let that hang you up.
Keep on track. Let's at least look at the CD you choose to review. It's Venice by Fennesz. Okay. That CD's alright. You can say a lot about that album. It's his fifth studio effort, right? Yeah, I think it is. But is electronic music even cool anymore? Not really. With everybody and their robot side-kick having a computer with music creation programs on it nowadays, there's a bigger glut of electronic music out there than there are badly dressed kids at a Blood Brothers show. But does that matter? Not if it's good, it doesn't. So is this good? I don't know. I really got to pee right now."
(2 minutes later)
"Man that was a nice pee. I haven't urinated like that in ages. Well, I'm on track 5 now, and the CD seems to have taken a turn for the better. The first few tracks were good, but a little iffy. I think I liked them. This sort of reminds me of Dntel in a way. These slow electronic waves of sound that shift and morph to form different slow, electronic waves of sound really tend to grow on you. It's a pretty CD, I'll give it that. Each different song seems to wash in and out as if it were never there.
Weird, this song has a guitar on it. That kind of adds a bit to the organic quality of Venice. Whoa and this song has a guy actually singing on it. You know, this CD isn't half bad. If this Christian Fennesz guy is this good at making music like this on his laptop, I'll bet he's awesome at MS Paint. I should probably start on that review now. I've wasted enough time sitting here thinking about it, not to mention dunking Oreo cookies in milk and then throwing them outside. Here goes nothing."
Review:
Venice, the new album by electronic pioneer Christian Fennesz is a quality release that ends up being another great addition to an artist's already great line of work. However, it isn't as good as Oreos dunked in milk.
