So comrade, this elderly man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Where can I find the most recent issue of Sports Illustrated?" Then out of fucking left field, sometimes inadvertently perceived as right, Dispensing Of False Halos busts through the adjacent wall and tears that geezer a new blowhole. Now, what exactly instigated this odd situation and, better yet, who framed Roger Rabbit? First, we must start with the basics: DOFH is a metal band that is heavily influenced by emo violence (essentially pretty music with screechy vocals). This semi-nude outfit's roots lie in obscure 90's screamo bands like In Loving Memory and Eclipse Of Eden. The old man that looked so goddamn innocent in 1999, cast a level 3-doom spell on the members of these groups. The only way this magic could be disrupted is with a completely new band of four total strangers combining all their powers. Realizing that their pussy emo music wouldn't be powerful enough to overthrow such a mad man, they threw their metal signs into the air and adopted the black mage lifestyle. In the process of this evolution, certain key features were brought over, allowing a new breed of rock to flourish. The vocals are still high, but not screechy, they are reminiscent of Jacob Bannon between his screams and deranged singing, with a little more oomph. Although the vocals are flat in the sense that they don't change often, where they lay is on solid ground. And of course behind the demon that is a frontman, ride four horsemen, armed with axes, batons, and ready to fuck shit up. The manner in which they do this switches between darker melodic metal riffs and prettier twinklier parts that are usually overshadowed by mob screams. I'm sure the bassist is great, but due to the recording, I have trouble hearing it a lot of the times, which is always a big negative in my eyes, metal bands seem to have a problem with this a lot. And Whilst the drums are on, they sound really lazy at times, which could be influenced by the video I saw of this band where drummer boy was sticking the drum stick up his nostrils in hopes of finding some rare elixir. All that remains is you fine soldier! The fan. Listen up and loosen up those panty hose.
I think the problem with this for most people is that it's too metal and harsh for emo kids, but too clean and pretty at times for metal kids. For those kids that don't fit into one category, With Prayers and A Scalpel is a musical endeavor worth chancing.
Oh yes, and for the conclusion to the pointless story that attempted to hook you in and bind a shitty review together! The senior citizen who mistakely walked into the precisely planned death trap was robbed of life and sent to hell where he bathed in blood of twenty three denizens raping one another. The band was freed of their curse and still continues to play and tour to this day, as the secret track hints at, as a rap group reppin' the 515.
