Oh, to be a fly on the wall during one of Toronto-based The Bare Miniumum's practices. It's generally an added bonus to discover that a band has a sense of humor about themselves, but with these guys it's seemingly the only thing they're concerned with. In interviews, the band presents themselves as lots of things. At times, they're an unconcerned and unimpressed party band. At other times, they're a band deeply committed to DIY and punk ideals. They crack jokes, and talk a lot about why songs need to be short and straight to the point. With Hit After Hit, their first album, they're trying very hard to do something. It's just hard to tell what that something is.
Based on sonic output alone, the four piece sounds as though they are shooting for a certain "party time, excellent" vibe; one comprised of Molsons, cheese pizzas, foosball, and repeated viewings of Sylvester Stallone's Time Cop. What may sound like a party to them mostly sounds like four dudes sitting in their dorm room and staring into their solo cups while mulling what to do next. They'd like to throw a party, but they don't play well with others. A quick look at the track listing suggests that they might touch upon this exact problem with "Nerd at the Punk Show," but mostly it just sounds like an exercise in rhyming "alone" with "I don't know."
Introspection and gut-punching lyrics don't happen over night, and that's ok. However, "Laptop Jockey" is inexcusable. On it, they opt to repurpose Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" for their own sophomoric amusement. Seriously, the line "Hey DJ, leave those kids alone" is downright terrible. On "Snake Charmer," there's dialogue from United States President Barack Obama. The logic behind using that dialogue is anybody's guess.
However, all hope isn't lost. They play fast and loud so that's something. "Destroy the Human Race" has a nice chug to it, and the dual guitar work gives Cam Gray's vocals some room to breathe. "Sheets in the Wind" is another highlight with assured guitar soaring and bending for a brisk two-and-a-half minutes. The problem is that outside of these two tracks, the other songs mostly sound the same and the vocals are a bit tinny. Closing tracks "Body and Soul" and "All is All" seem to hint at the sound that the band hopes to capture. If that's the case, though, then it's very curious that they choose to waste so much of the album getting to that point. Curious indeed, for a band that says the songs should get straight to the point.
In the most generous of terms, The Bare Minimum could be described as "something off the soundtrack for Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2." All things considered, that wouldn't even be that bad of a designation. Bad Religion and Goldfinger were on that soundtrack, after all.
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