I went out on tour with my buds in Norcos y Horchata as their bass player a few weeks back. I haven't been on an actual tour since before the pandemic, so this was going to be an adventure. The routing brought us from Michigan to New Jersey and back. It was a solid 10 days out there with one day off. A fun little run for sure.
First off, you should all check out the band. The music is up on all of your favorite streaming services. It personally reminds me of Swingin Utters or One Man Army. It's super catchy and solid stuff. I've done enough touring to know how difficult it is to land in a city where no one knows your music. It can be mentally defeating. Amado and Dougie are as seasoned as I am, so we went into this tour knowing that we were just going to have fun with it and treat it like summer vacation. I could tell you about all of the fun stuff, but what I'm going to focus on are the shitty things that happen. Things you should keep an eye out for. Maybe you'll learn something.
You're going to end up staying in spots with cockroaches. The two of you can live in harmony if you just leave each other alone. Believe me, they think you are as gross as you think they are. And neither one of you actually wants to be in New Jersey, but there you both are. Deal with it.
You're going to see weird stuff out there. In Baltimore we witnessed a car try to run a person over, miss, and then try to back over them, and miss, and try again. Whatever. It happens. We played in some sketchy spots. I was standing outside of one of these spots having a smoke and a lady came up to me dancing and singing about how it was her birthday. I'm into it until I feel her hand slide towards my wallet. I politely pushed her away before she could get it and then sat through a verbal lashing like I haven't had in years. She was legit offended that I caught her. It was hilarious! Jokes on her. I didn't have any money. I'm a broke punk rocker a few hundred miles from home.
At another spot, the booking guy we ad knew well ahead of time that he set us up with a terrible terrible show, so he didn't bother showing up. If the booking guy doesn't show up, you know the show is going to suck. Another fun thing is when one of the bands you play with brings a large group of friends and then they all, including said band, leave right after their set. It straight up fucks with your brain to see a packed house one minute and then before you even start, the place is empty. That's pretty messed up.
When in a bar in a different city, make sure you ask how much drinks are. I was at some shitty dive bar we were playing and ran up a $60 tab cuz I just assumed they had dive bar prices. Apparently they in fact did not. They had fancy hipster bar prices. My bad. If you plan on getting booze after the show, don't. Get it during the day when you're traveling. I failed to do this when we were in DC. According to Google Maps, there was a liquor store next to the venue. When I went next door to buy my whiskey, the store wasn't there. It straight up didn't exist anymore. And then on our way back to the hotel at midnight I learned about a thing called state-run liquor stores. They close at midnight. I was a wee bit cranky at this information. Kinda ruined my night.
Don't get me wrong. We had the best time. We truly did! There is nothing better than jumping in a van with a couple of friends and spending 10 days on vacation playing punk rock and laughing. Just be aware that it has good points and bad points. And always bring a towel.
