Feature / Regular Columns
Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Destroy the iPod

June 22, 2012

Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Destroy the iPod
Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Destroy the iPod

ipod_bust.jpg

blag_column.pngWhen I was in high school a new product came out that everyone had to have called the Walkman, a portable cassette player. It allowed you to have music wherever you went, but you would only hear what you had already decided you wanted to hear. This eventually gave birth to the iPod, a properly futuristic sounding audio device capable of deciding for you not only what you should hear, but also how many times you should pay for it again.

Call me old-fashioned, but I like natural sounds. Birds in the trees, the hum of whirring chainsaws, the exultant sound of hunter/gatherers in the urban environment eliminating each other over scarce resources. Perhaps the veteran I pass on the corner is onto something when he says, “It all sounds the same…it’s content…no context…”

Of course, I hate the iPod. Where is the album cover, the twelve-by-twelve inches housing the round item with the round hole inside? Where is fidelity: high, low or indifferent? Must we pretend these digital files can simulate the music we love when we know that they can’t?

It’s been said that music is beautiful to everyone, but it’s every man for himself in iPod Nation. Because the technology is so darn fancy, we’re supposed to ignore the intrusion of this sonic wallpaper, designed to blast your every waking moment, to give you just enough of what you want to stop you from listening to anything new.

ipod_sad.jpgAll content is equal in iPod world. You don’t even have to be cute anymore to be cute in iPod world. How can I be expected to tell the difference between Kreayshawn and the singer from Against Me, when they are both unattractive and sexually ambiguous? That’s what record covers were for.

And besides mine, are there any other tolerable podcasts yet? Why this is considered a new frontier and a reworking of the communications paradigm is a mystery to me, but iPod Nation craves content, 24/7/365 no matter how lame that content might be. The iPod and its offshoots are not progress, but rather a kind of regress. The price we pay for more access to more stuff is weak content overall, and too much detritus to pick through for diamonds in the muck.

Either way, I’m sure you and I will keep stuffing our hard drives with old music. Music made when live performances in front of demanding audiences quickly separated those who were called to perform from those who were actually chosen. By contrast, the current music industry sees live performance as a way to sell a record that has already been made. Untried artists making dodgy recordings in their bedrooms, often with more charm than talent, attract internet-watching media execs who pass this on as our musical culture via the net.

Without an audience to winnow out the garbage, and with multi-national corporations betting millions on meager art and major marketing, much of what is good and potentially profitable never gets heard. Instead, a big load of stinking shit is sent to us via the just barely audible iPod and we are left to pretend it’s our culture. People aren’t any less talented now than they ever were, it’s just that so many more useless performers are taking their shot at internet fame that it just feels that way.

You can help to end the scourge of the iPod with a few simple steps. First cram all of my songs on your iPod, just to make me feel better. Then throw the fucking thing away and buy our goddamn records!

BLAG DAHLIA
June 2012

— June 22, 2012

Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Destroy the iPod
Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Destroy the iPod

Related features

Big Sad

One Question Interviews • December 18, 2024

Mario (Big Sad - bass) SPB: Who is the most underrated Florida band (current or all-time, your choice)? Mario: Grabass Charlestons/Careeners Not only is their entire catalog solid, but their last LP, Dale & The Careeners is the best album No Idea Records ever put out. Whenever I find a … Read more

Static Friction

One Question Interviews • December 17, 2024

Derek (Static Friction) SPB: What is the furthest you’ve ever traveled to see a single show (and who was it)? Derek: Oh boy, I just so happen to have a good answer for this one. My wife and I have been planning an Italy trip for about a year and … Read more

Feel It Records

One Question Interviews • December 16, 2024

Sam (Feel It Records) SPB: What is your favorite album cover of all time? Sam: Funkadelic - Maggot Brain Totally iconic, striking, and still relevant to this day. Still wakes me up every time I pick it out to spin. Read more

Red Scare Industries - History 101

Music / History 101 • December 10, 2024

Hey folks, Toby here, and the SPB team asked me to provide some insights about some stuff from our catalog now that Red Scare is (you gotta be shittin’ me?!) twenty years old. Specifically a “memory or modern take” on some past releases, and they picked some doozies, so let’s … Read more

Ultrabomb (Greg Norton)

Interviews • December 10, 2024

UltraBomb is Greg Norton - Bass (Hüsker Dü), Finny McConnell - Vocals and Guitars (The Mahones), and Derek O'Brien - Drums (Social Distortion), replacing Jamie Oliver (UK Subs). References are being dropped like an UltraBomb (like that? ha!) so, that being said: are they a supergroup or power trio? Neither … Read more

More from this section

Table Talk #18 – Preparing For Year End Lists

Regular Columns / Table Talk • November 22, 2024

I’ve talked about having a writer’s block this year. So when I set myself down (after a stern talk to motivate myself) I looked at this blank page thinking: what on earth should I discuss this time around? At first I thought I would put another couple of labels in … Read more

Guest Column: Jon Snodgrass

Regular Columns • November 6, 2024

Jon Snodgrass has been in the music industry and punk scene for the better part of 30 years, playing with bands such as Drag the River, Armchair Martian, Scorpios, and more. He currently performs most frequently under the name Snodgrass + Buddies, where he plays with a backing band of … Read more

Guest Column: Greg Jacobs – The 5 Sketchiest Venues I’ve Ever Been To

Regular Columns • September 27, 2024

Greg Jacobs managed the bands Big DRILL Car, Drive Like Jehu, Rocket from the Crypt, and Supernova and has worked at the record labels Enigma, CRUZ, SST, Cargo, Capitol (for one day), and Trust. He currently manages two of the aforementioned bands (even though they’re inactive), freelances for one of … Read more