Quelle Chris (rapper)
SPB: Of the following gas station food options, rank the following - popcorn ball, candied peanuts, or red licorice?
Quelle Chris: I will rate them on a scale of -3 to -1 in fairness to the unmentioned but understood top contenders.
The candied peanuts are an immediate -3 and most likely wouldn't be bought because of their boring nature. Even though they're the best tasting and most filling option, this is not a contest of logic.
The popcorn ball eases into the -2 spot. They have a "my mom made me bring these to the classroom party" feel to me. Which is never cool. Understanding this is unfair given the fate of the peanuts, I would also like to add that the "unballed" popcorn would have had first place potential.
This leaves the coveted -1 spot for red licorice. Its sweet and tastes nothing like licorice but has the balls to call itself licorice anyways. On road trips it can also be used as a whip like weapon that, for the most part, can be safely consumed after striking your enemy while the other two will fall victim to gravity after being thrown. It can also double as a straw, an extra limb, trendy bracelet and so much more. Red Licorice for the win.