Review / 200 Words Or Less
Useless Eaters
Hypertension

Jeffery Drag Records (2013) Nathan G. O'Brien

Useless Eaters – Hypertension cover artwork
Useless Eaters – Hypertension — Jeffery Drag Records, 2013

This is weirdo garage punk with some surf and new wave-y parts from Nashville, TN. Hard to tell if Useless Eaters are playing guitars that sound like fucked-up keyboards or if there is a keyboard that drowns out the fucked-up guitars. I honestly could care less because I happen to really like it. Sometimes just being a stupid music fan and not some musician is awesome because you don't have to over-analyze the shit out of how every little sound is made. Other times it's frustrating because you can't describe it to people without sounding like an asshole.

There are some easy comparisons to make here. “Life on a Grid” sounds like Digital Leather, “Black Night Ultraviolet” is very Wavves-ish, and the bass line in “Malfunction” recalls The Stranglers and Gang of Four. There are probably plenty of places to tuck in a Jay Reatard or Ty Segall reference here too. I don't make these comparisons to demean this band in any way, but rather as a few simple points of reference. The songs “Moody Bitch” and “Addicted to the Blade” could be the soundtrack to a Southern California surf blog. You know, those ones with lots of pictures of skinny dudes wearing striped tee shirts under jean vests, with sailor caps on and stuff. Maybe throw in a button or patch with a picture of an anchor on it and a wrist band that used to be the top of tube sock. Yeah, you get it.

Well anyway, if weirdo garage punk with surf and new wave-y parts and fucked-up guitars and/or possibly keyboards sounds like something you'd dig, like I do, then Hypertension is right up your alley.

Useless Eaters – Hypertension cover artwork
Useless Eaters – Hypertension — Jeffery Drag Records, 2013

Related news

New Useless Eaters

Posted in Records on September 21, 2014

Recently-posted album reviews

Generacion Suicida

Hombre Nuevo
Vitriol (2026)

On the tail end of Autogramm’s 2018 tour of Mexico (what little I remember of that week now is a lot of pulque and not a lot of sleep) I visited the one punk record store in CDMX that I found via googling where to buy bootleg punk t-shirts. I’d already visited Venas Rotas Discos earlier on the trip and … Read more

Karen Dió

Fugaz
Hopeless (2026)

Six songs. That's all Karen Dió needs on this EP. Considering the title translates roughly to fleeting, brief, or transient in Portuguese, maybe that's exactly the point. Dió's second EP doesn't hang around long enough to overstay its welcome. It arrives, makes a hell of a lot of noise, throws some gigantic hooks at you, and disappears. But there's considerably … Read more

Real Numbers

Was It Always This Way
Slumberland Records (2026)

I feel like this may be the first 12", 10-song release in my collection from Real Numbers, a dreampop meets jangle-indie rock band from Minneapolis. I'm not going to fact check my statement, because I mean it as a metaphor. Real Numbers play exactly what you'd expect based on my short description so far, but there's always something just a … Read more