Review
A Secret Policeman's Ball
Teenage Crimewave

MVD Audio (2013) Aideen

A Secret Policeman's Ball – Teenage Crimewave cover artwork
A Secret Policeman's Ball – Teenage Crimewave — MVD Audio, 2013

Who needs functioning eardrums anyway? A Secret Policeman’s Ball play post-punk indie music with new wave undertones, and there is only one volume their music should be played at: LOUD. The Tennessee band have a penchant for mixing pop-filled melodies with aggressive guitars and vocals that frequently turn into screams; what initially starts off as a song with sweet vocals transforms into a wave of angst with some impressive vocal distortion.

Tennessee doesn't naturally conjure up images of shrieking post-punk bands, or of a massive alternative music scene in general, even though the state's capital city is nicknamed Music City. While recognised as the home of several country music greats, the music scene is much broader than might initially be assumed. When someone mentions music from Tennessee they’re unlikely to think of A Secret Policeman’s Ball, which makes them all the more interesting.

“I Am Not A Scientician” is a spectacular onslaught of chugging guitars, increasingly sweet-but-bitter vocals with glowing synths underpinning the verses. The vocals get more vicious as the song goes on, until the last chorus descends into growls with crashing cymbals for company. It’s fervent and angry but the mashing together of pop sensibilities with a harsher sound really works.

Elsewhere “They Already Banged” is a danceable, summery track that rivals Two Door Cinema Club’s effervescent indie-pop, and on “Stairway to Upstairs” lead singer Nikki Oliff shares vocals with guitarist Greg Harp with positive results; the contrast between their vocals adds to the song while Harp’s vocals mix with the guitar riffs during the chorus to a backdrop of synths that sound like distorted sirens. A number of the songs on this album contain an urgency that is difficult to ignore, it’s attention-grabbing but not alienating.

Closer “Sometimes My Arms Bend Back” first appeared on their debut EP of the same name, and neatly closes the album. It incorporates all of the aforementioned genre fusions that the band do so well, with an instantly catchy chorus. Oliff sings “They could’ve put you in our box” with a refrain of “Let it die” from Harp before the screams reappear with a ferocity that’s hard to miss.

Teenage Crimewave manages to mix aggression and anger with upbeat, sweet melodies all at the same time. It seems like the sort of combination that on paper shouldn't work, but in practice it does. Plus, eardrums are overrated anyway.

7.5 / 10Aideen • August 19, 2013

A Secret Policeman's Ball – Teenage Crimewave cover artwork
A Secret Policeman's Ball – Teenage Crimewave — MVD Audio, 2013

Recently-posted album reviews

Tigers Jaw

Lost on You
Hopeless (2026)

Tigers Jaw was formed in 2005 in Scranton, PA by high school friends. After a brief hiatus in 2013, the band is once again carefully crafting and delivering a sound that is equal parts upbeat angst and mellow moodiness. The current lineup, consisting of Ben Walsh (guitar, vocals), Brianna Collins (keys, vocals), Mark Lebiecki (guitar), Colin Gorman (bass), and Teddy … Read more

N.E. Vains

Running Down Pylons
Big Neck Records (2026)

N.E. Vains’ Running Down Pylons delivers that kind of glorious, basement-level destruction. You know, back in the ’70s when every basement had those flimsy swinging room-dividing doors, and your skinny 130-pound frame suddenly ripped them clean off the hinges in a fit of imagined superhuman strength? The day you went from sand-kicked weakling to full Charles Atlas mail-order muscle miracle? … Read more

Poison The Well

Peace In Place
Sharptone (2026)

There’s no way to talk about Peace In Place without acknowledging the shadow it steps out from. Poison the Well isn’t just another reunited band dusting off an old name. They’re literally architects of the genre. The Opposite of December… A Season of Separation didn’t just help define metalcore, it rewired how heaviness and vulnerability could coexist. And honestly, is … Read more